“You’re not a very good friend.”
It’s true. One of my best friends told me this ten years ago.
She was right.
- I didn’t reach out to her; she always reached out to me.
- I was often “too busy” to spend time with her.
- I didn’t support her when things in her life were sad.
I was caught up in my own busy world—working, raising my kids, doing my house projects, and relishing my alone time as a classic introvert.
This was an important conversation, and it helped me step up and be a friend MY friend deserved to have.
Can you relate to her?
Many of the women I know struggle with the friendship side of their life. I know this, because I hear things like:
- No one ever calls me.
- I don’t have someone I can be vulnerable with.
- I don’t fit in.
- Now that I’m divorced, the couples don’t include me.
- I wish I didn’t let my friendships fade away.
- My best friend moved, and I feel lost.
- I moved to a new city, and I’m lonely.
Do any of these thoughts feel familiar to you?
Friendship can be an area of focus if you want it to be. You can figure it out. If you feel a void in this part of your life, you can do something about it.
Why does it matter?
The Importance of Having Close Friends
#1: Friends give us confidence.
Who do you call when you have a bad day? A girlfriend, of course! And almost every time, she helps you feel better, doesn’t she. (If she doesn’t, you may need a different girlfriend!) Friends are great pick-me-uppers when things aren’t going well.
#2: Friends add joy.
Girls’ night out. Have you ever had one you didn’t enjoy?
I was on a trip for work awhile ago, and I had an afternoon to sit at the pool. While I was there, for almost six hours, I enjoyed observing a group of girlfriends—about six of them—hang out and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh.
We need joy. And, believe it or not, we can seek it. If you don’t have that, get busy, and go in search of it.
#3: Friends satisfy needs we have that our partners can’t satisfy.
In fairness, some of my friends have husbands and partners who are chatty, chatty, chatty. And delightful. And enjoyable.
I’ve been around long enough to recognize this is not the norm.
Let’s take the pressure off of our husbands and partners and satisfy our need for conversation with our girlfriends.
Maybe you don’t have a husband or partner. That is all the more reason to go out and find those girlfriends. Or make the ones you already have a priority.
#4: Friends help us make progress.
If you have the right friends!
Surround yourself with women who want to talk about interesting ideas, growth and progress. If that is important to you.
Be cautious about the women who want to talk about other women. Unless it’s to celebrate their awesomeness!
Friendships are so important, I had an idea! I am starting a monthly membership community. This community, called “Accountability and Friendship For Success,” is designed for women who want more, and who want to join a journey with other like-minded women. We’ll make progress together. I’ll provide the structure, and the other women will provide the inspiration.
Registration for my Founding Members—a very special group of women—will open in mid-June. If you’d like to know more, please join my “I’m interested in learning more” list! You can find it at www.aletanorris.com/AFSInterestList.
There is no pressure to be on the list! Only the opportunity to learn more!
Hope to see you on the list! XOXO Aleta